Just laying here. Not really caring, well atleast to whats going on around me. Ate a great lunch at Fatties today- delish burgers. How am I feeling? Thought id never ask myself. Nothing ever happens the way you want it to. This past situation did teach me one thing though; it taught me to trust and to give it up to God. And while my heart isn’t happy with the current situation, I know its all part of the plan. So I sit here asking myself, "If I am mad at the way things have gone, then am I mad at God and his design?" I do think so and that’s why im trying to trust. Because theres something better, something even greater than what I know in this universe and what I can see happening in my life. Its so easy to say but very difficult to do. With this realization, I have been able to trust easier. I do get caught up wondering why, and what happened and whats to come. Then, shortly thereafter, the depressed feelings come in. Also with this comes the idea to pray and to give it up to God. Afterall, it would happen if it were meant to be. Me hoping for something to happen and pushing things not meant to be, is me wanting something harmful and destructive in my life. Truly why would I want that? So I ask myself why do I desire these things? Not just love but so many of the other materialistic things that satisfy my heart temporarily. Why do I want it so much? It’s a good question but it doesn’t matter what the answer is when I already have the solution. Follow God and trust in Him, right? So im not going to try to understand something that cant be grasped in truth and reality. Peace